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Aligned Parenting


There are certainly divergent views that exist. More often than not, I would say. In such cases, agreeing on dividing up roles and responsibilities helps, with the agreement that messaging would remain consistent. It is like being a leader in an organization. At any point in time, one needs to uphold the organization’s interest. One cannot promote one’s own beliefs over an organization’s culture. The organization in this case, is the child.

Making time to reconnect as a couple is important, especially after having a child. Making time to discuss parenting is equally important too. There is, after all, a human being each of us parents are responsible for; someone who will soon grow up and mirror everything that he / she believes the parents stand for.  Are we aligned on what we stand for, together?

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After 14 years of working as a Talent Development expert in the Corporate world, Namrataa Arora Singh decided to re-invent her career. A Certified Professional Coach (CPC) from the International Coach Academy (Australia), Namrataa has been coaching women across the globe for the last 6 years. Namrataa specializes in working with mompreneurs, single moms and working moms juggling a full time career with other responsibilities. You can read more of her blogs on http://worldofmoms.wordpress.com.


3 thoughts on “Aligned Parenting

  1. Kritika Srinivasan

    Namrataa – I agree theoretically with all that you say. But could you help me out with this – how this actually play out in actuality? While my husband and I may agree on some really important things about child-rearing, there will always be some aspect that we have completely contrasting views on. For example, one spouse may believe that academics are more important than anything else, and the other may want to focus equally in all-reound development. Given that they have such contrasting views, it could be very difficult to reach middle ground, with neither willing to concede the other;s viewpoint, simply because these are strongly-held beliefs. So what then? However much the spouses discuss the issue, they are not going to come to a consensus – how would they deal with the child and what would they communicate in such a scenario?

    Please advise.

    Reply
  2. Meera

    Hi Namrata,
    You are raising an important issue, I think we all struggle with this! I like the way you have drawn a parallel to the ways of working in an organization — if in an organization we are able to work for the organization’s interest – we should be able to do so at home as well — put aside our interest and aspirations and see what works for the child!

    Reply
  3. Namrataa Arora Singh

    Kritika, Meera,

    Thanks for your comments. I think you raise a pertinent question, Kritika. While I think reaching 100% alignment on everything is certainly not feasible, what is feasible is perhaps a division of tasks and responsibilities among parents. Let us take for instance, academics. One parent might argue that a daily discipline is necessary for the child to complete education and would want the child to excel at all subjects. The other parent might feel that in this day and age, being a topper at school is quite irrelevant. The discussion can start with what the common goal is. It is for the child to be confident and successful. What are the ways that are currently in place to enable that. Is not being able to top in the class an issue that is impacting the child or the parent? It might require the parent to think again on what is realistic to expect of the child and step back a bit but not give up. If one works from the point of view of the child, solutions emerge. We tend to get stuck more because we think from our perspective and follow our scripts which are ingrained in us as a result of our life experiences. At the end of the day, the child needs to feel that both parents want similar goals for him / her and that is most critical to get aligned on. How one gets to it, does need to involve some flexibility. The answers do lie in the gray area and are really not black and white. They don’t say ‘child is the father of man’ for no reason :) Parenting grows us and evolves us often into better human beings. What do you think?

    Reply

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