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Being a Calm Parent – Some Tips for You

Being a Calm Parent – Some Tips for You

Bringing up children can be very rewarding and enjoyable but it can also be stressful and frustrating. Most of us feel wound up and lose our temper, which we regret later. But the point is for us to realize that children will readily absorb the emotional climate around them; if we are frustrated, they will be too. I’ve learned so many lessons on this topic in the last two years. I hope to pass a few tips to fellow parents for staying calm and cool.


Also Read: Helping Children Manage Their Emotions


Be in the present moment. Turn off all the electronic entertainment gadgets that you have at home and connect with your child. Try hanging a tag that reads “Here, now”, “Be in the present moment!”. Please be aware that the present moment is the best gift that you can offer to your child.

 Simplify. Over-scheduling your day with multiple activities may lead to frustration as the day progresses. Look at what you can undo during that day. Plan your week’s chores well ahead and be kind to yourself as you put down the to-do list. Be childlike, really listen to your kids, and focus your attention on what you’re doing together.

Foster your non-mom identity. Once we became mothers we have forgotten ourselves! Try and ignore the voice in your head about what constitutes a perfect mother, and just be you. Make time to reconnect with what you loved to do before children and don’t feel guilty about it!  Get some books for your choice, drive to the beach, have a sip of coffee and treat yourself.

Energize yourself. Choose the things that you love and that make you happy and do them every day.

Exercise. Kick start your day with a brisk early morning walk. This is going to keep you refreshed all through the day.

Eat. There have been many times when I’ve been starving and not taking care of myself. Stop and make sure you’re not feeling the result of low blood sugar.

A good night’s sleep. Get a sound sleep and don’t ever try and compromise on that. This is the time where your physical and mental health is put to rest and prepares itself for the next busy day in your life.

Get up early. The preciously early morning time. Make this your ME Time. This is the best opportunity for you to be with yourself and feel your inner self. Feel the freshness in that ice cold water, breathe the freshness in the air. Place your foot on the floor and feel the ground. And you will feel connected with your inner self.


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Kalyani Shankar is a mother of twins and works as a German Linguist in an MNC. Amidst the jam packed busy life of a working mother, she looks forward to spending quality time with her kids when back home. Kalyani loves to introduce thought-provoking and fun activities that interest children. As a Balvikas spiritual educator for children, she strives to include ‘Spirituality and its Relevance’ in daily life situations and mentors parents on the same lines.

5 thoughts on “Being a Calm Parent – Some Tips for You

  1. Ignatius Fernandez

    Kalyani, good points, well stated. Response in anger is punishment. Response out of love for the child is discipline. I am glad you cancel out the angry response. Deep breathing is a simple, no-cost ritual which could change the tense situation into one that is manageable. Time for yourself is another good important point you make. Please accept my compliments! God bless.

  2. Sridhar

    I like the sheer simplicity of these suggestions. They are eminently doable.

    We can start anywhere and try anything that works.

    The key message I am getting is that “If we do not look after ourselves as individuals, we can’t be effective, happy mothers. That means we can’t enjoy our children’s growing up years. More importantly, we can’t be there for them 100%.”

    That would be a shame.

  3. Aparajita Bose

    Yes, I must agree with all the points, particularly the actions of calming myself down before punishing my child and not putting too many things-to-do in my daily list. I have myself realised over the years how unjust it is to me and in turn to my kids to expect too much from myself leading to frustration which in turn leads to impatience with myself AND my kids.

  4. Jayashree

    Great Points and effective tips for all mothers. Especially to control the anger is the most toughest part. I regret a lot after I express my emotions on my son. I will practise your routine and see if that helps to control my emotions.

  5. Kritika Srinivasan

    Very true Kalyani. I think we lose our calm with our kids (and husbands!) so often because we take too much upon ourselves and are then unable to cope. In a lighter vein, maybe we should stop trying to live up to the tag of ‘superwomen’ all the time, and be more like men! I am convinced that this is yet another ploy by men to get us to do all the work and feel grateful for the opportunities that we are given! ;)


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