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Being a Calm Parent – Some Tips for You

Take a deep breath. Never ever punish when angry. Just don’t. Heed this advice and you’ll always be a calm parent. Separate the kids and then walk away. Step outside. Or, go to your room and close the door and lay on your bed until you are calm.. Have a gulp of cold water. Something. Anything. Just breathe and calm down before you even attempt to react.

Be Grateful. Be grateful for the time we have with our children. These are all big, heartfelt reminders of what it really means to be a parent, even when times are challenging.


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Kalyani Shankar is a mother of twins and works as a German Linguist in an MNC. Amidst the jam packed busy life of a working mother, she looks forward to spending quality time with her kids when back home. Kalyani loves to introduce thought-provoking and fun activities that interest children. As a Balvikas spiritual educator for children, she strives to include ‘Spirituality and its Relevance’ in daily life situations and mentors parents on the same lines.

5 thoughts on “Being a Calm Parent – Some Tips for You

  1. Ignatius Fernandez

    Kalyani, good points, well stated. Response in anger is punishment. Response out of love for the child is discipline. I am glad you cancel out the angry response. Deep breathing is a simple, no-cost ritual which could change the tense situation into one that is manageable. Time for yourself is another good important point you make. Please accept my compliments! God bless.

  2. Sridhar

    I like the sheer simplicity of these suggestions. They are eminently doable.

    We can start anywhere and try anything that works.

    The key message I am getting is that “If we do not look after ourselves as individuals, we can’t be effective, happy mothers. That means we can’t enjoy our children’s growing up years. More importantly, we can’t be there for them 100%.”

    That would be a shame.

  3. Aparajita Bose

    Yes, I must agree with all the points, particularly the actions of calming myself down before punishing my child and not putting too many things-to-do in my daily list. I have myself realised over the years how unjust it is to me and in turn to my kids to expect too much from myself leading to frustration which in turn leads to impatience with myself AND my kids.

  4. Jayashree

    Great Points and effective tips for all mothers. Especially to control the anger is the most toughest part. I regret a lot after I express my emotions on my son. I will practise your routine and see if that helps to control my emotions.

  5. Kritika Srinivasan

    Very true Kalyani. I think we lose our calm with our kids (and husbands!) so often because we take too much upon ourselves and are then unable to cope. In a lighter vein, maybe we should stop trying to live up to the tag of ‘superwomen’ all the time, and be more like men! I am convinced that this is yet another ploy by men to get us to do all the work and feel grateful for the opportunities that we are given! ;)


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