• India’s most comprehensive parenting portal, with excerpts from ParentEdge – India’s leading parenting magazine

Empathy and Trust – must-haves in a Parent-Child relationship

• Maintain a healthy synergy between work and play. Help your child develop a well-rounded personality with interests in academics as well as hobbies and sports.
• Do not indulge in comparisons either with peers or with your own self. They demotivate the child more than anything else does. Avoid statements like: “Look at Sunil, his mother hardly pays any attention and yet he comes first in class. And here I spend half my life running after you and don’t even make it to the top three.” “When I was your age I used to study eight hours a day and that too in a room which did not even have an air cooler, let alone an AC.”
• Do not generalise. “You don’t concentrate enough. You can achieve nothing in life.”
• Do not be obsessed with results. Rather make sure your child rises to her potential. As Dr. Robert Schuller says, “Failure is not failure to meet your goal. The real failure is not to reach as high as you possibly can.”
• While deciding on career goals keep in mind her interests as well as your own aspirations.
• When the results are announced never show your disappointment to your child. Your reaction will have a more telling impact on her than the result. The fear that she has let you down will be far more psychologically damaging than the poor marks per se. This is the time when she needs your support the most. Rather than admonishing her and expressing your anguish you should stand by her side. Keep in mind these words of Harold Hulbert, “Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it.”
• Try to be a friend to your child while making the distinction between friendship and familiarity very clear. Try to be her confidant – someone with whom she can share life’s ‘sobs, sniffles and smiles’.
• Don’t make your child become obsessed with success and achievement. Let her enjoy the journey as much as the destination. Teach her about the importance of failure. As Robin Sharma says in his best-seller ‘The Monk Who Sold his Ferrari’, “It is a fundamental law of nature to profit through loss. Never fear failure. Failure is your friend.”
• Never measure the worth of your child in terms of her performance. Even if she is neither brilliant in Math, nor talented in painting, neither terrific in tennis nor a wizard in computers, she is your child and like all children, very special. Even in her ordinariness she remains a beautiful creation of God – one to be loved and cherished forever.


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Ramendra Kumar (Ramen) is an award-winning writer for children and young adults with 27 books to his name. He also dabbles in satire, poetry, fiction and travelogues. His writings have been translated into several Indian and foreign languages and showcased in many text books and anthologies. Ramen is a much sought after inspirational speaker and storyteller. An Engineer and an MBA, Ramen is working as Chief of Communications, Rourkela Steel Plant, Odisha. You can visit Ramen's website www.ramendra.in

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