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Letters to my Daughter: Be the Queen of your Kingdom. Not the Wife of your King!

I heard Naanijaan once tell someone  that Nanajaan doesn’t want his daughters to be at the mercy of a man. He wants them to be independent and self-sufficient. Nanajaan always encouraged Maasima and me to study, explore, express, be whoever we wanted to be and have an ambition.  Masima was the first person in our social circle to work in the media and advertising industry. I was the first girl in the family to live and work in the west. Nanajaan and Nanijaan always encouraged us towards progress and empowerment.

While independence, identity, ambition are very valuable, love, respect and companionship are equally so. Being ambitious and independent doesn’t mean that you disregard the needs of your family and friends. It doesn’t mean that you forget to offer respect and courtesy. Be respectful to your partner. If you are the Queen he has his own space as King. He is not the husband of a Queen. Yes! My sweet child always be respectful no matter what you achieve…but at the same time remember to be respectable. Remember that you deserve to be with someone who deserves your respect and will respect you in return.  Be the best partner you can be. Be the best companion you can be. You and your partner are meant to share your lives, share your successes, share your sorrows and not piggy back on each other. Sooner or later every piggyback ride becomes uncomfortable for the rider and tiring for the carrier.

Love to my Princess,

From the reigning Queen 


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Zeffirra works with a private equity firm, is married to a workaholic surgeon and is a mother to a beautiful girl. Her days are crazy, juggling between work, home, her darling daughter, family and friends. Zeffirra believes in not dwelling on the past and not worrying about the future. Instead, she focuses on the present which is truly a ‘present’ from above. Zeffirra created an email ID for her daughter on the latter's birth, and has been writing regularly to her about their lives and about the things she wants her daughter to know about. Read Zeffirra's blogs, in which she shares her ‘present’ in the form of letters to her daughter. Zeffirra's personal blog can be accessed on http://iheartmypresent.blogspot.in

3 thoughts on “Letters to my Daughter: Be the Queen of your Kingdom. Not the Wife of your King!

  1. Kritika Srinivasan

    Thank you Zeffirra for this lovely blog – and what an innovative idea to write letters to your daughter. She will learn so much by just reading her emails when she is old enough, and have a record of herself and her parents as she was growing up. I look forward to reading more of your letters to her – we can all learn something from them! Welcome to ParentEdge!

  2. Sudha Kumar

    Great idea and such ‘real’ content Zeffirra. I can imagine how delighted your daughter will be as she gets to read them. You have touched on a very important issue in this blog. As mothers, we have an important role in building self esteem in our girls both by leading by example and by sharing experiences. You seem to have cracked it! Way to go……….


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