Today I share with you a letter I wrote to my daughter a few months ago and subsequently posted on my personal blog. In my letter I emphasize the importance of loving and valuing oneself. I think it is very important to teach our children to love themselves. Self-doubt and self-hate is a very dangerous, yet common phenomenon in children and young adults today.
I wake up each morning and kiss you and say ‘I love you’. You hold my face and reply back ‘I love you too’. Loving you is the easiest thing I have done. It comes naturally to me. No effort, no rationalizing, no overthinking, only love, love and more love. But today I want to talk to you about the most difficult type of love. LOVING YOURSELF.
Loving yourself is the most difficult love of all. You can only truly love yourself if you have been able to accept who you are and who you can be. I have found it difficult to truly love myself in the past. I hated the way I looked, the way I spoke, the way I dressed….and the list goes on….. but today I am a confident woman who meets the world each day on her terms without being obstinate or conceited. The first step towards my transition was my realization that I am different. ‘Of course I am different’ I thought… that’s who I am meant to be…I am no factory produced lego woman… I am a unique being with a unique mind and unique sensibilities… I am UNIQUE… I am PRECIOUS and so are you. So why not love ourselves ….because we are worth it!!!
However do not confuse loving yourself with VANITY. Loving yourself without knowing yourself is vanity not love. True love is to accept who/what you love with all its shortcomings, weaknesses. To love yourself you have to face your short comings, embrace them, work towards rectifying them. Accepting that you have certain flaws only makes you more beautiful. Identify and address personality traits that need crafting. Nurture the good in you and drain away the ‘not so good’.
I have noticed that ever since I have been able to love myself people have found it easier to love me…The same people who wouldn’t want to be in my company started to gravitate towards me. I found more friends, more love, more respect and above all more acceptance from people around me after I was able to truly befriend, love, respect and accept myself.