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Teaching children to be resilient and self-reliant | ParentEdge


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Letters to my Daughter: Rise…Fall…Then Rise Again

This was a letter I wrote to my daughter in August of 2014.


I am not sure if I mentioned this to you, but the reason I write to you while you are learning to walk, talk and all the other lovely stuff you do, is because I want you to experience some day in the future what I am experiencing today. Also I want to make sure that if something ever happened to me you could read my letters and know who your mother was… what she was about.. how much she loved you and what she wanted to tell you … Sweetheart, you are a beautiful child with a beautiful heart and an amazingly sharp mind.. you have a personality and it is my responsibility to develop you into a a strong, determined, compassionate, respectful and cultured lady. I assure you that I will put my all in cultivating you to the best of my ability and existence.

Today I was reading this article http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2012/07/02/spoiled-rotten ( I am not sure if this article will still be available when you are ready to read this letter) on how parents of today are spoiling their kids rotten.. such that ultimately it becomes detrimental to the child’s development and future. We think we are doing our kids a favor and expressing our love when we do all for them (including tying their shoe laces) but such expression of love only makes our children less confident and more dependent on us…

I am very proud to say that you even today at 2 years of age….you try and brush your teeth (that is when you do :)), help out in cleaning and wiping and laying the dinner table…it sometimes can increase the mess…..but you are just two…so its bound to happen.. but I really appreciate the effort that you take in becoming more independent.. I am sure you will grow up to be a confident young woman.

Sometimes when you fall I feel like rushing to you and picking you up in my arms and cuddling you like so many mothers I know do.. and I do give in and pick you up when you fall on most occasions .. but sometimes I am able to control myself and let you stand up on your own….Zayb never ever let yourself believe that because I let you stand up on your own I love you less…I love you to the moon and back…..the only reason I allow you time to stand up by yourself rather than picking you up is because there are times in life when there is no one to pick you up…..I wish and pray each day that you always find many many people to love, who love you , to share your life with….but as a mother I must prepare you for all circumstances….


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Zeffirra works with a private equity firm, is married to a workaholic surgeon and is a mother to a beautiful girl. Her days are crazy, juggling between work, home, her darling daughter, family and friends. Zeffirra believes in not dwelling on the past and not worrying about the future. Instead, she focuses on the present which is truly a ‘present’ from above. Zeffirra created an email ID for her daughter on the latter's birth, and has been writing regularly to her about their lives and about the things she wants her daughter to know about. Read Zeffirra's blogs, in which she shares her ‘present’ in the form of letters to her daughter. Zeffirra's personal blog can be accessed on http://iheartmypresent.blogspot.in

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