• India’s most comprehensive parenting portal, with excerpts from ParentEdge – India’s leading parenting magazine

My baby, my design?

Namrataa Arora also blogs at http://worldofmoms.wordpress.com.

Tailor made – everything! Your personal fitness instructor, your personal diet plan, your personal virtual assistant, your personal music tutor and everything else under the sun is going that way too!

And what about kids? Sure, they too, wouldn’t we wish?

Even before a child is born, some of us would like to have decided his / her school and pretty much have carved out their lives, just as, we might have liked to lived ours. Whether we admit it or not, most times, our unconscious mind is busy making decisions about our child’s future  Ironically, many times, our view of our child’s future is really about us and what we want.

Well, here is a math view of parenting. Each of us is a unique individual. We meet our spouse and over time, an intersection of two seemingly separate sets emerges. It is our shared values, interests, passions, etc. Out of that intersection, at some point in time, a baby is born. However, where the parenting equation falsifies itself is the place where we forget that the baby is not meant to stay in that intersection. That baby is a unique individual too. The baby, your baby, is born with some traits and over time, develops emotions, choices, preferences and styles that define him / her. How much time do we spend in getting to know this individual and how much time do we spend in directing him / her to do follow our design and to be the way we want him / her to be?

Agreed that as parents, we need to guide our children, to be there for them, teach them right for wrong. Hopefully, however, we would not be imposing our design on them and would involve them in making decisions that are likely to impact them as they grow older. We cannot have a child decide which school he / she goes to but perhaps we can enable a child to make decisions about the kind of activity he / she wants to engage in during a play date. Enabling a child to make a decision is one of the best things we can teach him / her. It is really the pencil which will allow him / her to design a life moving forward.

So how can we keep a check on ourselves and not become overbearing? Here are three handy tips:


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After 14 years of working as a Talent Development expert in the Corporate world, Namrataa Arora Singh decided to re-invent her career. A Certified Professional Coach (CPC) from the International Coach Academy (Australia), Namrataa has been coaching women across the globe for the last 6 years. Namrataa specializes in working with mompreneurs, single moms and working moms juggling a full time career with other responsibilities. You can read more of her blogs on http://worldofmoms.wordpress.com.

2 thoughts on “My baby, my design?

  1. Vandana M Khemka

    So true!… though often child do take thier basic life understanding from parents but the as parents we have to let our child form his own unique personality by expolring things he like and would want to do :)…
    Crafter :www.facebook.com/craftstruck
    Mom blogger : http://www.mumsphere.com

  2. Meera

    very useful read and good tips -for most of us it is difficult to stay away from the how, but need to do it!


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