• India’s most comprehensive parenting portal, with excerpts from ParentEdge – India’s leading parenting magazine


If that is the type of self-esteem / inner strength we wish to give our child, how do we go about it?

Acceptance – You are Ok – I love you for what you are. You do not have to keep doing things to gain my approval.

Respect – The tone and the words we use – A person who is respected believes in himself.

Autonomy – Giving up control – allowing choices and teaching decision making from a young age. Not doing for child what he can do for himself.

Trust – Believing that the child is a thinking person who will do the right thing when trusted.

Responsiveness – Being attentive in responding to the child gives the message- I am important to Mom/dad.

Believing in uniqueness – Every child need not be good at the same things. Being able to identify your child’s strengths and appreciate them. (never compare – it is the most de-motivating thing to do to a child)

All this is really difficult because it means completely changing our notion of what our role is as parents. We have been led to believe that the role of a parent is to constantly correct, scold, preach, push. We need to reflect on what all this does to the child and our relationship with him.

Can it be possible that ACCEPTANCE is the greatest gift we can give a children for him/her to have a really solid self esteem.


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ParentEdge is a bi-monthly magazine for discerning Indian parents who would like to actively contribute to their children’s education, intellectual enrichment and stimulation. The magazine’s premise is that learning is a continuous process, and needs to happen both in and outside of school; thus parents have an important role to play in shaping their children’s interests and intellect.


  1. Kritika Srinivasan

    Very insightful – I think a lot of us parents actually confuse self-esteem and self-confidence with playing to the audience – taking centre-stage, being pushy and basically, able to handle your own. But as you rightly point out – self-esteem can also come with gentleness and non-agressive behaviour. This was an eye-opening post for me, one to keep in mind the next time I reproach my daughter for being shy.

  2. amrita pai

    An insightful and informative post! Having to deal with two distinct personality types at home is not easy and this post just puts things in the proper perspective for me.


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